Introverted. Quiet. Shy. Hermit. Wallflower. Observer. Silent. Anti-social. 

this is me Lady covering her eyes

These are all words that describe me. They are also easy to say and use as labels for myself. But this is me.

Since 4th grade, I’ve been quiet. I was told I was precious a few too many times and decided to shut up and lock up the other parts that made me, me. No one could say I was precious or cute or funny if I didn’t talk and show them.  I talked so little, kids referred to as the “girl of many faces”.

Since then, I have navigated school, college, friends and my career being the quiet girl. The one most people didn’t even notice. I was so and so’s friend, often without a name and certainly never remembered.

In my mind, if I could achieve ultimate anonymity, I didn’t have to live up to any other standard than my reputation as being the quiet one. I could dodge confrontation and responsibility because I was lurking in the shadows.

Lesson Learned

this is me Hiding face


Hiding from others behind this silent facade, has also allowed me to hide from myself. I have been in denial of who I am and have believed the lies that “things don’t happen to me” and “I’m not that person”. I’ve given myself a pass on achieving anything more than daily survival.

It’s affected everything from the way I dress, to the guys I dated, to the way I don’t speak up about my ideas and principles. I’ve believed I’m a nobody.

I believe this is what’s called Impostor Syndrome. Perhaps not an actual syndrome in my case but the sentiment is the same. Imagine my own surprise when I felt this undeniable tug to start blog and build an Instagram following. I want to be a world changer, or at the very least, change my own little world and leave a legacy for my kids. But why me? Why would people care a thing about who I am, where I’ve been and where I’m going?

I have interests, hobbies and qualifications but I struggle to see them as anything more than self-claimed and therefore illegitimate. I see other influencers and their success and confidence and think, “that’ll never be me because I lack the credentials and personality”.

It Changes Now!

this is me Celebrate


Today I’m going to own who I am! These are the things that make me who I am and with any luck, there will be a few things that intrigue you enough to keep you coming back for more!




I am:

A believer and a Christian

My parents took me to church regularly and taught me Christian values. I’ve had my weak times but I am finding my way and making my beliefs my own. There’s still a long way to go but can’t thank God enough for His patience with me.

A wife

After 11 years you’d think this one would have sunk in but sometimes I still feel like we’re just playing house instead of building a meaningful marriage. But whoa, 11 years is a pretty big deal!

A mother to 3

Yes, I birthed them and spend almost every waking hour with them but I still don’t always feel like a mom who is responsible for the physical, emotional and spiritual upbringing of these three little people.

A home school educator

Our son is going to a charter school this year, but prior to that, I’ve schooled our children at home. It hit me recently how I have never owned that! Perhaps it’s because my approach is “life is our school” but even still, I have never felt like a home schooling mom. I’ve definitely felt like a fake which has no doubt caused some missed opportunities.

(Shew this is getting harder….)

A friend

I’ve recognized a pattern in myself, eventually with friendships I start doubting my worth to the other person and I simply walk away before they have a chance to reject me. Why would anyone want to be my friend??? I see this now and am fighting hard to keep showing up for the women in my life.

Good listener


A trusted adviser

I was accepted into a psychology program the same day I got a design job offer. I took the job. But the desire to help people never went away. I regularly get calls and texts from friends and family asking for my thoughts on relationships, parenting, health and what they should hang on their walls. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love it!

An interior designer

I’ve neglected my own home and haven’t pursued a design career but the $26K I’ve spent the last 15 years paying off, gives me every right to claim this one! Yet I’ve spent years denying that this title belongs to me. But watch out world, or at least family because this house is about to get glammed up!

A graphic designer

Okay, this one feels like a stretch. I haven’t been professionally trained but rather self taught. Welcome to the school of Google and YouTube, right?!?! I’ve designed multiple logos as well as advertisements and other business graphics. So I’m going to own this, at least so far as being a “budding designer”.

A blogger

This one is hard to claim. I’ve been dreaming this dream for years but assumed people would think, “who does she think she is? She’s not a blogger!” But I have a website, I’ve written blogs and I have to start somewhere! So I guess I’m a blogger! Eek!


Be different


I’m unique and was created to fulfill a need in this world. I may not always know what that is, but I know God thought enough to make me and make me who I am. Mine is a story to tell. It may not be filled with major plot twists and excitement but I guarantee it’s a story that will resonate with more than a few people! I’m on a mission to find those people!

This is ME!

Do you have trouble owning who you are? How has it changed the direction of your life? Will you comment below with some of the things that make you uniquely you?



As I sip my afternoon cup of coffee, I glance around to see my living room in all its messy glory. There’s leftover snacks on the end table. A doll car at my feet. My husband’s shoes are in the same place they landed when he kicked them off last night.  The sofa is for once, surprisingly, not covered in last week’s art projects but I don’t even want to think about the “trail mix” that’s under it! This scene is probably expected considering that I’m a mother.



But what if I told you I was a perfectionist? Would you believe me? Or would you laugh in my face because after all, a true perfectionist would have a spotless home despite of her three children.


I can’t believe I’m sharing this!

But believe me. I’m a perfectionist. You see, I had the luxury of growing up alone and getting to do things MY way. This let me cultivate some pretty strong perfectionism qualities. Need more proof? Somewhere buried deep in the depths of my mother’s basement there are pictures in which ever strand of hair in my bangs are equally spaced and sprayed in place. You could also probably find evidence of my graduating college Summa Cum Laude. My childhood toys still have lots of life left in them and any that are broken, met their fate at the hands of my children (little savages!).


Plot Twist!

But as with any good story, this one has a plot twist. In my case, his name is Marshall and I stole his last name. He’s far from perfect but somehow has perfectly taught me the beauty in letting go, loosening up and going with the flow. Because of him, I, now, consider myself a recovering perfectionist. I’m learning to embrace this crazy unplanned adventure we’re living together and am beyond thankful this man came into my life!


Still though, in my dreams, my house is spotless. My kids wear perfectly coordinated clothes and never get dirty. I never yell, I read to my kids all day and plan elaborate craft projects. And I always cook delicious, organic meals that everyone eats and loves every last bite. I’m a size 8 and have a well toned body that doesn’t even hint to its history of growing three humans. I have lots of friends and we all take turns planning perfect parties in our perfectly maintained gardens.  I also enjoy every moment I spend with my husband and can’t wait until he retires so we can spend every moment of every day together.


This is not reality! And if you are still living in the world of trying to be a perfectionist, you’re only setting yourself up for a life of disappointment and self-loathing. Perfectionism is not about your success in doing things perfectly. It’s about equating your self-worth with your failure to live up to your own ridiculous standards. Oh, mama, you are so much more than your success and failures.

We live in a world of social media. Our world is bigger. We have more people to compare ourselves to and people have more opportunity to white wash their own realities. Even outside of social media, we tend to only show the world our best selves. This hypocritical existence leads to judgement, unhappiness and sometimes down right cattiness among other moms who are walking this same journey as we are.


I say we do something crazy and start a revolution! Let’s start being real with each other. How about we support each other instead of tear each other down? What if you started owning who you are, that perfectly imperfect woman that you are? Free yourself from your own ridiculous standards because I promise you, the rest of us truly don’t care about the beautiful mess that is you, my dear. Stand tall, sweet sister, take my hand and let’s be recovering perfectionists together!